I just realize that I'm falling apart...

I can't still be here searching for something I don't even know if it will come my way...
I can't keep on trying if it will end in nothing...
I just can't hang on to that happiness... That I don't even know where it is...
I'm just falling... falling apart in every way...
And still I can't fall apart... cuz I'm just getting to old to have these kind of crisis...

Why you make it so hard?

Why is it so hard to let me go?
Why is it so hard to see that life made us grow apart?
Why is it so hard to live your life without me being part of it?

I had made a decision about our pact.
And I know that you don't want it too...
So why make me sad?
Why play with my wounds?
Why lock me in memories of years ago?

I did want it then, but life changes in so many ways...
Yesterday we were in Frisco...
Today you're in China, and I'm in Brazil...
That's a way of life saying we are not meant to be...

Do we have to talk about ONE LOVE, ONE LIFE, ONE SORROW????
I can't have any of them... and still hurts to think about it...
I just can't handle it again...
Just please let me go...

The love i feel inside, is not love, is just that memory I have of you, of when we were kids... living in Frisco...
That's why I know I can't have this pact with you.
Please let me brake it, and you can go find for your special someone...
Like I'm doing it now!!!!!!!

"Um Dia Minha Alma Se Abriu Por Inteiro" - Iyanla Vanzant

"Um dia minha alma se abriu por inteiro
e as coisas comecaram a acontecer.
Coisas que nao consigo explicar.
Quer dizer,
eu chorei e chorei como jamais havia chorado.
Chorei as lagrimas de dez mil maes.
Eu nao podia sentir coisa alguma
porque chorei ate ficar entorpecida.
(...)
Um dia minha alma se abriu por inteiro,
comecei a rir
e ri pelo que me pareceu ser uma eternidade.
Nao que houvesse qualquer coisa de particularmente
engracado acontecendo,
mas eu ri mesmo assim.
Ri com a alegria de um milhao de criancas brincando
na lama.
Ri ate a barriga doer.
Meu Deus! Como foi bom! (...)

*****
"(...) Agarrava-me ao meu relacionamento acreditando que, se terminasse, eu certamente perderia a cabeca. E terminou. E eu perdi a cabeca. Perdi a parte da cabeca que me fez negar os fatos durante grande parte da vida.(...)
Embora eu nao tenha me dado conta na ocasiao, tive muita sorte. Houve uma pessoa em minha vida que identificou minha confusao, minha raiva e loucura imediatamente. Este individuo extremamente perspicaz chegou ate a detectar uma vulnerabilidade ainda maior: o medo. Medo de estar perdendo o controle. Medo de que as outras pessoas me julgassem. Medo, que por algum motivo eu nao me dispunha a explorar ou mencionar, de estar sendo castigada.(...) Essa pessoa ouviu minha historia e ofereceu uma unica sugestao, muito desconcertante: Mantenha se aberta. Algo de muito maior do que voce pensa esta acontecendo. (...)
Sobrevivi a experiencia. As coisas melhoraram e, depois, tornaram a piorar.(...)compreender que as coisas, na verdade, nunca desmoronam. Elas simplesmente mudam.(...)
-Se voce sabe quem caminha ao seu lado, jamais podera ter medo! - "

***

Perder o Medo e aceitar tudo como Deus me mandar!

DDA or ADHD

A little explanation of my big disorder... The reason why... I can't just be... normal!!!!

What is Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder

ADHD is one of the most common neurobehavioral disorders of childhood and can persist through adolescence and into adulthood. Currently the causes are unknown.

A person with ADHD has a chronic level of inattention, impulsive hyperactivity, or both such that daily functioning is compromised. The symptoms of the disorder must be present at levels that are higher than expected for a person's developmental stage and must interfere with the person's ability to function in different settings (e.g., in school and at home). A person with ADHD may struggle in important areas of life, such as peer and family relationships, and school or work performance.

Three types of ADHD have been established according to which symptoms are strongest in the individual. These types are described below:

Predominantly Inattentive Type: It is hard for the individual to organize or finish a task, to pay attention to details, or to follow instructions or conversations. The person is easily distracted or forgets details of daily routines.


Predominantly Hyperactive-Impulsive Type: The person fidgets and talks a lot. It is hard to sit still for long (e.g., for a meal or while doing homework). Smaller children may run, jump or climb constantly. The individual feels restless and has trouble with impulsivity. Someone who is impulsive may interrupt others a lot, grab things from people, or speak at inappropriate times. It is hard for the person to wait their turn or listen to directions. A person with impulsiveness may have more accidents and injuries than others.


Combined Type: Symptoms of the above two types are equally predominant in the person.

I Wanna Be Sedated

Twenty-twenty-twenty-four hours to go
I wanna be sedated
Nothing to do, no where to go, oh
I wanna be sedated
Just get me to the airport, put me on a plane
Hurry hurry hurry, before I go insane
I can't control my fingers, I can't control my brain
Oh no oh oh oh oh

{Refrain}

Just put me in a wheelchair, get me on a plane
Hurry hurry hurry, before I go insane
I can't control my fingers, I can't control my brain
Oh no oh oh oh oh

{Refrain}
Just put me in a wheelchair, get me to the show
Hurry hurry hurry, before I go loco
I can't control my fingers, I can't control my toes
Oh no oh oh oh oh

{Refrain}

Just put me in a wheelchair, get me to the show
Hurry hurry hurry, before I go loco
I can't control my fingers, I can't control my toes
Oh no oh oh oh oh

Ba-ba-baba, baba-ba-baba, I wanna be sedated
Ba-ba-baba, baba-ba-baba, I wanna be sedated
Ba-ba-baba, baba-ba-baba, I wanna be sedated
Ba-ba-baba, baba-ba-baba, I wanna be sedated

- Ramones

***
Just wanna be sedated!!!

Eye In The Sky

Don't think sorry's easily said
Don't try turning tables instead
You've taken lots of chances before
But I'm not gonna give anymore
Don't ask me
That's how it goes
Cause part of me knows what you're thinkin'

Don't say words you're gonna regret
Don't let the fire rush to your head
I've heard the accusation before
And I ain't gonna take any more
Believe me
The sun in your eyes
Made some of the lies worth believing


I am the eye in the sky
Looking at you
I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules
Dealing with fools
I can cheat you blind
And I don't need to see any more
To know that
I can read your mind (4 times)

Don't leave false illusions behind
Don't cry I ain't changing my mind
So find another fool like before
Cause I ain't gonna live anymore believing
Some of the lies while all of the signs are deceiving

by Noa
****
Lovely song!!!
Bringing lovely memories!!!